It’s all well and good to say that we can provoke change in our partner … That our love will be so strong that it will make it better, stronger, more faithful or even more responsible. But reality catches up with us when we least expect it and reminds us that we can not do miracles for anyone else, no matter how deep we feel about them.
What are the reasons that led you to choose him?
From the first glance, the first words exchanged, you realized that it was different. You have started your love story with a lot of hope. You lived a passionate time where everything seemed so light, so simple and so beautiful. You liked his disconcerting honesty, his rebellious spirit or his jealousy that made you feel that you were unique in his eyes.
Why are you trying to change it?
Over time, the worries of everyday life caught up with you and made you realize that it was not as perfect as you imagined it. Some of his faults have taken over the admiration you brought him. His sincerity has earned you many hurtful critics. His rebellious ideas hurt you in public. And his jealousy has stifled you. You can not stand it, and yet you love it deeply. You would like him to spend less evenings with his friends, to offer you proofs of love, to make concessions for you. You would also like him to be more responsible, more mature, that he can finally control his possessiveness and trust you. In short, you are looking for the perfect man. Unconsciously, you seek to shape the one you have always dreamed of and live a story worthy of a true love film.
Why can not you shape it your way?
“Hunt the natural, he comes back at a gallop”. No matter how much you love this person, it will not change his personality. However, if several aspects of the man that you cherish deeply disturb you, it would be wise to ask the question: do you really like it, or was it the image that you made that you liked? The simple idea that one person can really change another emanates from a considerable naivety. If he is deeply jealous, it will never change. If it’s someone who is afraid of responsibility, even with all your love, you will not be able to help him change that trait. However, the relationship and the way you react can help him become aware of some of his imperfections. A love story can break down as it can change a person.
What changes can you really make in the relationship?
After realizing that your partner could not be perfect, and after making sure that you loved him for his deep qualities and despite his many flaws, you can try to make the relationship evolve positively.
Here are 3 things you need to put in place to improve your married life:
The key to a successful couple life is communication. On the other hand, aggressive critics are never welcome in a conversation to change the relationship. You must be able to establish a positive and benevolent exchange. Talk about your feelings and emotions calmly.
2. Activities in pairs:
It is necessary to be able to establish in your schedule some moments that you will both spend, without any conflict. These moments are precious to maintain a harmonious relationship outside the daily stress and responsibilities. Be careful not to spoil these moments with reproach and enjoy the moment with your partner.
3. Mutual Trust:
Trust is a very important point for moving forward in a common direction. You must be convinced that your love is powerful and that your partner will not go elsewhere if you have problems with your relationship. The foundations of trust rest on the sharing of the same principles by the two actors of the relationship, hence the importance of communicating.